I wonder if the reason why women, even those who call themselves feminists, don’t let go of sexist things in their lives like makeup, shaving, uncomfortable clothing and shoes, misogynistic media, even religion, is because most of them think they live a useless little life that has no influence on other people.
Does anyone remember Tumblr feminism from ten years ago that was about being a good role model for other women? The second it was replaced with pro-porn, pro-kink, pro-beauty industry, pro-plastic surgery, pro-religion “feminism” it was over, it became “who cares, as long as I like it”. “Influencer”, instead of being about speaking up about personal values and societal change, became synonymous with promoting weight loss products to insecure people.
In my experience, when I showed up at school or work without makeup, without a bra, with hairy armpits and legs, without even saying anything about it, several women would follow. When a popular, very dolled up student in my school admitted that she envied me, I told her that I would have her back. So she stopped wearing heels, even makeup, and started wearing sneakers and jeans. My niece is growing up knowing that women wear all sorts of colors and clothes, have body hair, can have short hair, don’t have to worry about their appearance, and hopefully, when the outside world inevitably teaches her that “beauty is pain” or even that beauty matters, she will laugh in their face.
(Speaking of laughing in someone’s face, a muslim (male) college classmate said after the Charlie Hebdo massacre that “people can spit on [his] mother, but they cannot make fun of the prophet”, causing quiet tension and anger in a classroom with a female-majority, until a woman yelled back “your mom is the one who gave birth to you, dumbass!!” All the women laughed and he never dared saying misogynistic nonsense like this to us again.)
Every time one woman rejects sexist standards, she gives other women the courage to do the same, she makes girls understand that those standards are not natural, they can be free. That’s why, once I rejected all of this, I never went back. (I didn’t even do it because of feminism, I just valued practicality and comfort more than obedience and conformity.)
Governments and billionaires are shaking in their boots because women have less and less children. The makeup and lingerie industries have to change because way less women have been wearing makeup and bras during lockdowns. When we are honest and firm about what we want and reject what we don’t like, that influences women around us and that influences society, that’s how change is made!
Remember ten years ago, when pads and tampons were the only products out there, no one really questioned it, and if you bought a menstrual cup online and tried to discuss that possibility with your female friends or relatives you were considered a hippy weirdo? (bonus hippy weirdo vibes if you bought cloth pads or period underwear, a.k.a the exact same thing as my great-grandmother’s period rags, according to my mom) If you talked about putting free period products in public places, people would roll their eyes?
Now, in my country, you can buy menstrual cups, cloth pads and period underwear in supermarkets and one of the biggest underwear brands here started making menstrual underwear as well! Because women started to complain about the composition of pads and tampons, we now have perfume-free organic cotton pads and tampons, so even “classic” menstrual products improved. There are baskets with free period products in some public spaces like schools and universities. Along with food and hygiene products, now people think about donating period products for poor women.
If we had been too afraid of being seen as weirdos to talk about alternative menstrual products to female friends and relatives, we would still have no choice but dealing with pads and tampons with shady compositions and poor women would still be too ashamed to ask for donations of menstrual products.
That’s proof that we can all lead by example and that small changes can create bigger changes!
